My old friend Tommy had been sober for a year or so at the behest of his wife. Oz-fest was coming and she asked me to take him, and let him drink again. So I watched him all night through Black Label Society, Slayer, Judas Priest, the first tour with Rob back, and Black Sabbath.
Well Tommy had had too much to drink and I told him we need to get an egg in you before I take you home or we’re both gonna be in trouble. Between the venue and his home was a Waffle House. Bingo.
As we’re pulling in we see a tour bus, odd, we go in and sit down and holy crap, that f-ing Zakk Wylde was behind the counter, paper hat and all…flipping burgers!!! Well we knew Zakk’s tour manager and he was there so we asked him what’s up? He said Zakk misses cooking for his kids and Waffle Houses will let him cook and he loves it. Zakk comes over and growls ‘what do you want’ to Tommy and myself. I say patty melt medium rare and a diet coke please, Tommy stumbles through ‘me too’ as his order. Zakk liked Tommy’s Pantera shirt by the way.
Zakk had bottles Heineken on some his cabinets and also cans of Coors light. I asked why he took a swig of Heineken and then chucked a can of Coors light into the crowd. He looked at me like a moron and said, ‘you ever been hit in the head with a bottle? It hurts!!’ We kind of stare at each other in silence for a bit.
Tommy’s hammered so he’s not sure what he’s seeing… Zakk comes by once to get us more diet coke, then he brings us our meals. He sets down 2 plates, he says to Tommy ‘I did yours normal but (to me) I did yours Black Label Style. Two slices of wheat bread, slathered both sides of them with butter like my kids like and then I gave you three sauces, ketchup, mustard and Heinz 57 sauce.’ I whisper thank you and he waddles off.
I pick up my fork and start cutting into it, he looks down and hollers PICK IT UP!! I say its hot!. He rolls his eyes and heads my way. He picks it up, says ‘eat it Black Label style, swirl it in all three sauces and chomp,’ he took a bite. I started laughing so hard and when he handed me my patty melt back I swirled in the 3 sauces and took a big bite. He smiled and walked off.
By the way, this guy is famous for going 77 days without taking a shower or brushing his teeth so I had no freaking idea what I was getting into. The Black Label style patty melt was delish btw, not as good as the story however…